Justice is balance, because there can only be justice when there is balance.......

Justice is balance, because there can only be justice when there is balance. This is what I believe, and how I have been brought up. This is also what I am teaching my 3 kids so they too can pass on to their children.......


I feel that I am being treated unjustly but can't figure out how to get out of the predicament that I am are in. Usually, injustice has a tyrant / bully inflicting their domination in a situation. A tyrant's / bully's injustice is always annoying, but there is a way to end it. I have to bring the tyrant's / bully's in a situation where they must be just and it will take away the little power over me they have.


In my situation there is a lack of justice because the other side does not know justice exist. I can see there can be balance from both side. There is a solution, to reach justice on both side. 


I have to make a choice.....

Calm before the storm or calm from now onwards.....

The title is representative of how I am feeling. One of my vice, always believe it is too good to be true. Then again, this is typical of how I cope with challenges that comes my way.

I deal with things as it comes, I do not protest, I deal with it. Other see it as me giving in, why don't I protest.  While it may seem like I am giving in by allowing precedence, my reasoning, it will not go away as long as it is not dealt with. Rather than let it fester, deal with it. Produce result, and let the result do its work, to set things right.

In my current daily life, I am dealing with a diverse group of people, each have their vested interest in business. I am managing their vested interest. They are so fortunate, I am working to produce result. However, result I have produce so far, majority are still ignorant of the result I have achieved for them. One day perhaps in the near immediate future, they will overcome their ignorant and come to awareness the result I manage to achieve in such a short period of time, which is to their collective benefits.

Children are also currently going through a transition stage, they are experiencing stability, yet they are also sensing too good to be true, again reflection of what they have gone through. Hard to believe, too scared to accept, for fear of being rob once again. Hence, they revert to dismay and disbelief, as a mean to protect themselves from being hurt. What can I do? I cannot change their perspective.

This is my lot I am dealing with concurrently. Kids are relying on me to see to it that they have a safe passage from their teenage through to their young adult life.

I am doing it alone and not alone at the same time, not by choice, by circumstance.

Results or reprieve?

Just finish dealing with SA legal intimidation, sent through defence notice. Again just having to deal with all this, means I have to divert my energy and resource away from what matters most now for me, daily routines are disrupted, this create back log in my present world with kids and work.
How did I fare?
Check the ROC, my rights is 3/4 reinstated. My shares to my companies are restored, however my directorship is not.
Yes, more work to chase this up, means more resources and energy get "sap" out. At least proves the legal system did work for this instance. No time to ponder now, had I once again engage legal counsel, would it have given this result? No one knows......I did not take that path.
Now, I await to hear back, and hope my defence for my rights to address the inequality force by SA onto me could be address. See if the legal system works, tha I do have a chance to address this.

How did I cope with the stress, better this time round. The extortion and harrassment and blackmail are at "arms length", now and forever, I do dare to hope.

Currently, the legal system is put to test, whilst I am still at the mercy of the "selected people" who represents the legal system. Will they allow a fair hearing to proceed? or Will they not allow it?

For now, I need to come back to my reality of daily living, I have 3 children to look after, help them to heal, to grow, to distinguish the right from wrong, and let them grow into themselves to be a positive addition to society and promote positiveness for society as whole and for themselves get closure of the abusive childhood they have had from SA.

Abandon ship, scramble to save your own skin......

I was swept away with defeat, I was all teary, I was exhausted mentally, stretched emotionally, physically tired and spiritually losing faith. However, not defeated!

Catching up with my Europe sister in-law, we are going through similar destruction of our life, by the same family we married into and are getting out of.

I was crying so much inside literally because of the above, however I cannot cry out physically. I had to deal with the
1) legal system, all these monies I have spent on lawyers, and they did not represent me fully, now I am representing myself, I have to present my situation to the court, which the previous lawyers were suppose to do, but did not........
2) day to day reality of survival, I am forced tore invent myself and I cannot afford not to succeed, and risk I cannot afford to care for my 3 children. All 3 children are affected, they do not have me by them as I had to work 24/7.
3)I had to show to the court, and relive the abuse, the intimidation, the blackmail and extortion, before and during the settlement agreement of marital property.

I also have to witness, how my discharge lawyer scramble to save themselves as the SA once again intimidate me this time using the justice system.

Totally psyche out and max out.....to have my rights re instated

It took sometime for me to get my head round to filing forms and documents through the Family Court. I miss Jeannette form Q'stown Courthouse. She was so helpful, when I 1st arrived in Queenstown, and had to represent myself, after the discharge of legal counsel.
The reason for discharge were, I could not afford, and it really cost so much in thinking it will help me, as everyone is saying, however in truth it does not. In my case, it had made it worst, because the representation is very limited and I have come to realization they say they can help to ensure fairness, but in reality they do not believe in fairness, hence they are not able to fulfill that. It is not a fault, it is just the way it is.
By representing myself, I would be able to tell the court without sensorship what my case  of matter is that require jurisdiction to be applied. I do not need to negotiate what to present and what not, if I do this, then it disable The New Zealand Bill of Rights Act 1990, a statute of the New Zealand Parliament setting out the rights and fundamental freedoms of the citizens of New Zealand as a Bill of rights. It is part of New Zealand's uncodified constitution.
I am not  learned in legal system. I am fumbling through, falling and scrapping, as I go along to have a voice to be heard, for my rights to be upheld, to the end I could look after my 3 children and provide to them what a parent do, give them safety and fend for them until they know how to fend for themselves, and provide to them the assurance they is always someone here for them they can rely on.
Likewise, I look toward the justice system, to provide me with safety and it can fend for me, to the end, I could fend for myself and in knowledge, it will always be there reliably.
To this end, I am had the unfortunate circumstance I am dealing with SA who does not understand any Bills of Rights of anyone. 
I have been abused, violated, cheated, betrayed, threaten and deprived of any basic rights.


What do I do? What can I do?
I rely on my basic instinct, influence by my up bringing and living experiences in a society structure. I steer myself through the legal system, learning as I go, doing as I go.


Along the way, I may be fortunate to have people in these legal sectors who are helpful and the misfortune comes along when I come across people in these legal sectors who are not helpful. 
In this instance, the person who had replace Jeanette were extremely unhelpful. There is nothing I could do, except I hope she will not be there for long, as she does not serve herself well and she does not serve those people who need help.
Similarly, as I present my case before the Court to elected judges, they are those who are helpful to ensure the rights are adhere to, and they are those who are not helpful who does not make sure the rights are adhere to.
Knowledge from this experience, I have a better understanding that the justice system may not always be applicable and relied upon. That is the way it is.


Where do I go from here?
The process need to be concluded. Life goes on.


I am now fumbling through, how to make a defence to not settle the agreement that was made under duress. I have to defend the application to settle urgently.
I have to defend why the agreement made under duress should not be upheld in the Family Proceeding Act 1980. I was under duress from SA actions. They are as follow
1.I was in an abusive relationship
a)physical, SA slap me on the face, grabbing me and pinning me down, pushing me against the wall 
b)sexual, forcing me to have sex, blackmail me to go along to sex club, encourage his mates to grope me
c)psychological, telling me I have high expectation, lying all the time on all things, racist against me, sexualising on our daughter, her female friends, other young girls, female friends, female employee, female business associates
d)emotional, aggressive behavior towards me and 3 children in private and in public, denial aggressive behavior, dominating to control my movement, verbally aggressive and loud, unpredictable aggression


2.I was in fear for the safety of myself and my 3 children.
a)daughter safety, as she was abuse physically, intruding on her privacy and sexualized on her, blame her non obedience as to cause unhappiness in him which leads him to be aggressive
b)son's safety, negative role model, physical intervention to prevent physical abuse to me 


3.My financial independence were forcefully taken away from me
a) stopping my salary, credit card
b) stopping the rents received
c)no maintenance, and minimal child support $68-$70 per month for 3 children


4.I had to defend myself in the justice system, when SA filed false application
a)Preventing children from travelling overseas 
b)False affidavit to court, I have siphone funds from company


5.I was terrorized by SA manipulation and action
a)taking my passport away
b)coax staff to lock us in and out of residence
c)continued breaches of Protection Order 

Dealing with SA antics, belligerent workers, law enforcers

It is demoralising. It's mentally and emotionally tiring. If it wasn't for my 3 kids safety, I am a mother, I am responsible for my children welfare, I would have just ended my existence.

I've decided I had to stop cleaning up after SA
i) callous towards towards family, friends and business associates
ii)abuse to the 4 of us, especially towards he female child
iii)extra marital deceits 

All efforts to have amicable separation, even with consideration of SA sharing accommodation facility on the same property with hope it will not disrupt the children and our livelihood, did not work, as SA kept sabotaging all my efforts. The increase daily physical violence and abuse and sexualization on children were too much.

It's not easy conditions for us to live in, I had no family network to support me and my children.

I was left with no choice, but to walk away, when SA explains from his perspective
i)when he and 4 other friends took a young girl into a room, and each one of them took turns to have sex with her, one after another, he does not see this anything wrong with this, as the girl did not protest
ii)when he continued this practices towards elderly woman (70+ years old) with other men, taking turn one after the other to have sex in a room
iii)when he tells everyone for the pass 20+ years he has been separated and he travels for work, when he does not, rather he travels to meet up with these women to dine and wine them and then have them fulfill his sex fantasy, as means of his cost of maintaining them to be available to him without him having to pay for sex
vi)the unsafe sex practices with strangers and using company resources to fund his year round rendezvous in 5 stars hotels.
v)his view on drugs usage it is alright and fine to use weeds, later I was informed in Europe SA was a drug dealer, had a run in with the authority, and was involve in drug trafficking, his parents had to bail him out and manage to ensure there is no police record of it, happen in Belgium.

The above are just the tip of the "iceberg".

I got one little kid and two children to look after, and I have to keep the violence of SA at bay while working to clean up the compromised business situation of SA sexual liaison with business customer and suppliers employee, on top of the the daily violence when SA are not on rendezvous with his "multitude collection" of women young and old he entrap into his web portrayal of his made up life "lore"  of how successful a business man he is, and have been separated for many years, living with children, which he have to maintained 24/7 over the internet and phone so the interest of these women are maintained.

That is why SA never produces any output even though he sits on his computer in the corner of the office which he created for himself, where no one are allowed to come near, as he would yell and get very abusive to anyone who comes anywhere near his office corner and table, claiming he is being disturbed as he is in deep thoughts of work.

I have been stressed out and upset, when my kids safety were compromised. I made the move to be out of SA violent control.

Question as to whether we would continue to stay at our family residence, the odds were against it, as SA antics were crippling our ability to move freely in and out of our residence. The constant locking us out or in, were too much for children to handle. The belligerent workers attitude towards myself and children, coax and encourage by SA daily were distressing children and I too much. I have called police and lawyers many times, trying to find out my rights and how I can protect myself and children from these "intimidating and bully" act. I did not receive any help, rather I was being questioned and was told to move out, even though I explain, the financial intimidation I was in, as the ability to afford has been taken away from me.

Our life are confine like a prisoner in the attic. Our freedom came during the weekend, and even then it was short lived as SA breach the protection order and taunted us by appearing whenever he likes, and got away with it. This has further curtailed the little freedom we had.

I had believed by having a legal adviser, we will receive assistance to resolve this intimidating situation, and being in the system will hopefully see us have a safe path away from SA intimidation. However, the system did not work because law enforcer would not provide us with security. I am forced to remain a victim and I am being questioned for being a victim by authority.

I did not want to move as I was worried about uprooting the children, aged 8, 14 and 15, from their schools and their friends. However I had to make the right decision for them, but there's so much to weigh up. I really don't know where we'll end up to be safe from SA, and his belligerent workers.

I have troubled friends and acquaintances seeking when I could comforting and reassuring hug and a chat, as it is tough having to deal with all this alone while trying to care for 3 children on my own and financially intimidated.

This has been a demoralizing times, and very tiring mentally and emotionally for me. If it wasn't for my inner determination by being focus on the safety of my children, I would not be able to escape the abusive environment I was in.

Initially I was untroubled as I had faith in law enforcer to protect those that need protection but that disappeared over time again and again when they did not come through to enforce and protect us. They came and told me this is domestic and they will not and cannot do anything, until someone gets very hurt physically or there is a death. When the law enforcer finally did charge SA, they did not prepare the case nor seek my input to prepare the case before the criminal court. As result it was dismissed by the judge. This has provided SA confirmation he can get away with it, as long as he has a barrister to work the system and get him out of being prosecuted by law.

Up until then, my faith were intact the justice system should work the right way, being a good decision when it is so obvious, but I was proven wrong. The justice system are plague with parties of law enforcers and advisers who cannot up hold the justice system from functioning as it should to deliver justice. However, what I did experience is a song and dance play, and changing tunes and singing, not about what is right, it is about how well the representative's of law can manipulate the points and truth has no place in the justice system.

I want to be safe and I want all 3 children to feel safe too, however it is hard when we had to live through all this and we still have to get into a routine daily life and normalise. I cannot voice and tell our daily struggle how we tried to get on with our life peacefully. When I tried, I got slam down by SA barrister who is using his reputation of being good to forward the interest of his client (not necessarily because his client are on the right side of the law) and achieve good judgement for his client (not because they are the victim requiring justice to be served, for what is is worth, they could be the guilty people who is a criminal by act and intention), in my case the later is true.

I still want to believe in the judicial system, it can work for the reason it is intended to. In my case, I have started to represent myself to address

1)marital settlement agreement where it was made under duress

i)how I was coerced to sign under duress

ii)how I was bullied to sign away my rights to protect 3 children

iii)not able to negotiate any terms in the agreement

Now, SA with the help of his company accountant has committed a criminal fraud and they now have been given a deadline to rectify their fraudulent act to avoid being prosecuted.As result, SA barrister has come back to my discharged solicitor with great urgency and demanded I accept the marital settlement agreement made under duress. 

SA barrister have issued demand and threats to me and my discharged solicitor. Threats to me personally SA barrister will go to High Court and invoke a summary judgement and threats to my discharge solicitor to report to law society for my discharged solicitor professional claimed misconduct towards SA barrister. Threats to me and discharge solicitor that all cost and damage cost incurred by SA barrister we will need to pay for it. And any penalty SA are subjected to, they will claim as damage caused by me. What have I done, except to bring some justice into my circumstance, that is why I have submitted an application to the Family court to review the Marital Separation agreement that was made under duress

When the justice system allows SA barrister to continue to practice belligerently the laws in this country in such a manner as in my case, then there is a grave accountability of the judicial system need to be done, for which the purpose of the justice system is to serve to protect the rights of law abiding people, vs protecting the non law abiding people.

I was not aware of the motive and was confuse with the sudden urgency and then followed by the illogical threats of the whole matter by SA barrister, as SA barrister are informed I have filled an application to the Family Court the Marital Property agreement were made under duress is to be heard.

On reading the last correspondence on Friday which was sent finally direct to me by SA barrister, and the last threatening paragraphs confirming the cost of damage to SA is real and substantial, I could then confidently confirm this sudden urgency to force settlement on me. This is the latest bully and intimidation act towards me again and this disturb me on the following

-can the SA barrister use the judicial system to cover the fraudulent crime of his client? 

-will this be allowed by the judicial system?

-can SA barrister claim cost, when the motive and the cause and the action is based on trying to get his client who has committed a criminal crime against me? 

-why do I, who is a victim of SA violence, then a victim of SA belligerent successful intimidation practices, manage to portray me as the criminal for a crime committed by SA and his associates?

I want only ensure  my basic Human Rights as citizen of NZ, who is responsible to care and protect for my 3 children can do so.

I cannot believe this is happening again, the coercion, the threats, the bullying.

I am not sure I can withstand to go through this again. Currently I have to re invent my livelihood, so I could continue to support my 3 children, to meet their daily material needs, their psychological and emotional rationalization of what they have gone through, as we continue to re construct and get a healthy family routine into our current lives. As it is, I do not have family network to help us.

I had to deal with the judicial processes of engaging court appointed professionals to write reports (suppose to be on us, but in truth it was not of us, rather reports were based on what they perceived as published case study and translate that into their opinion to take ownership they have done appropriate assessment, after spending less than 60 minutes with children, and going by multitude of e mails ex change from only SA), then with the court appointed supervisor for the supervised contact of the youngest child with SA. I had to deal with my child accusation I had betrayed his trust in me, because I had not listen to him, by me agreeing to trial supervised contact with SA, with my youngest son being traumatized from the whole experience, because the supervisor did not maintain the welfare of my youngest son while supervising the contact.

How many more of this do I have to go through, before the court recognizes the Marital Property settlement agreement made under duress is not right? 

I need to provide for myself and my children what I was able to provide before. A house with land, a secure income from the family business which I have built over 20+ years. Now, I do not have a house with land, no secure income as I had to re invent myself in new business, and they is no security it in yet as I have just started. I need a more realistic children maintenance contribution, between $68-$70 per month contribution from SA, is not sustainable maintenance for 3 children. 

I can meet the shortfall of SA responsibility when I could instead of re inventing myself, I can engage in the same industry I have been involved in with a couple of exclusive agency for the outdoors industry business which I have manage and developed.

I have tried to put forward this proposition during the Marital Property Settlement agreement process, this has been curtailed and SA would not provide any information, and has blocked me access to all informations.

work in progress blog, marital agreement made in duress

1. I received a bad deal in my divorce case. Trying to fix it. Sitting here, editing this blog, just dawn on me...........for the past 8 days, SA barrister and solicitor has been doing nothing but bombard me and my discharge solicitor with threats of law suit and complaints?


What are they complaining when SA has extort, blackmail and bully me and my discharge solicitor, by ordering me to hand over my shares, and resignation as director of company. Since being force to sign under duress the marital property settlement agreement, SA continued to exert intimidation through the justice system to preserve his bully on me. Then 8 days ago out of the blue, comes the demand letter dictating a date as to when I need to accept the remainder of the monies from the marital settlement property agreement. 
Letter after letter, the threats increasing and the demand becoming more aggressive, until the last one on Friday, when I came back into the office to find an e mail being forwarded as an after thought ......finally acknowledging I exist and contacting me directly.
The psychological intimidation is absurdly rude to the core. Cannot comprehend why SA had to use so much brute force......after all, SA is the abuser and the aggressor, had successfully done his bit to imprint in me, and I have acknowledge it, yet still not enough.....sigh.


I see, SA does not respect the justice system, and all the monies that belongs to me, he is using to pay "rouge" barrister who does not practice justice for purpose of law, rather practice justice for the purpose of keeping his bank in healthy balance. I often wonder, with every cents the barrister spend, if he do reflect where these cents come from? 


How was my marital property agreement made.


SA, through his "rouge" solicitor and my discharge "barrister" coup de grâce my protection order with variation without my given consent, and as result, SA has access to come onto the property and breach the protection order against him to my 3 kids day in day out. Furthermore, SA gave the workers of the company permission to daily intimidate us by making snide remarks about me to my 3 kids. This traumatized the kids, and kids retaliated by ignoring these staff. This created vicious cycle, while SA applauded and encourage and reward the staff.


They would lock away the rubbish bin, disallowing us from using the rubbish bin. They took away kids toys, like skateboard and would not give them back. The staff lock the door the entrance where we normally use to access our house, that we cannot get out of our residence normal door. They barricade the door and lock us in and out, and the only access were to climb onto the balcony and open the door from the inside, the only means we got to get back into the house.


My only source of income the salary was stop, my credit card frozen. I have to pay my discharge barrister fee, and they keep engaging with petty demands.


The safety of my kids were compromised. I had to choose, between the safety of my kids and having a roof over our heads. I made the choice, safety of my 3 kids is paramount. 


Then hard reality confronts, how do I maintain my kids do not go hungry? The agreement that was put in front of me, I must agree and I cannot change anything on it. My request for equitable distribution were shunted and was told, if I do not abide, then there will be no settlement. I asked for access to my funds, until we can come to an agreement, that was denied. I have to do without, and by doing so, kids had to also do without.


SA, prolong the process, by going overseas, to continue with his predatory activities to Indonesia, Singapore, Thailand, Vietnam, China, Europe. On one occasion, in desperation we had to call, and SA told his mother he is working and are in conference, and typical when we call, SA was at a brothel, as we heard Asian women swearing and calling out to be paid for services rendered. We were made to listen to how SA yelled back to these brothel women SA was with.


I was trying to provide routine for my 3 kids with a roof over our head and have food on the table. Kids have to for go extra curriculum like music lessons as I was not drawing any income. I had to work in ex change for roof over our heads. Kids also had to find work and while studying to supplement their own pocket monies. 


This is just tip of iceberg what we went through.......my every minute waking hours were dealing with SA barrister demand to sign and take what is offered, no valuation, and I have to agree to no maintenance claim, discharge of Protection Order,  amongst other things I must agree to.


I stomach turns to think what I had to sign away, all protest and question how is this possible to my discharge solicitor............it is absolute bully, no negotiation room at all, blackmail is added to this process, if I were to question the fairness, I was told, SA will delay the settlement and will reduce further the settlement amount offered.


What am I to do? I have to have a solicitor I am told, however it does not seem it has helped me at all.


Is there something I missed here? Is this not obvious duress?

Speak now or forever remain silence.......

When I speak, I am accused of being not cooperative. When I do not speak, I am accused as being angry. 

I know what I should do.

I need to speak out, my rights as

1. the mother of my youngest son, who is looking after him.

2. the mother who are currently not able to protect him from

a) the system, that only listen to the

i) counsel of abuser, promoting abuser to have access 

ii) counsel of children, that keeps recommending access of abuser to the child

Emotionally, it is very draining, I have to stand alone to speak.

NZ legal system, how it relates to me, how I fare in the surreal legal system

The legal system in theory..................

The New Zealand Bill of Rights Act 1990

The New Zealand Bill of Rights Act 1990 safeguards the civil and political rights of New Zealanders.

The Act protects the following categories of rights and freedoms: life and security of the person; democratic and civil rights; non-discrimination and minority rights; search, arrest and detention; criminal procedure; and right to justice.

The Act is not higher law and does not "override" other laws, but it does nevertheless provide protection for the rights in it. The Courts must interpret other laws consistently with the Bill of Rights Act if at all possible. Further, all bills are assessed for consistency with the Bill of Rights Act before they are introduced into Parliament. Where there is an inconsistency in a bill, the Attorney-General must inform Parliament. While this does not prevent Parliament passing inconsistent laws, it does ensure that any issues are fully debated.

The Human Rights Act 1993

The Human Rights Act 1993 is aimed at giving all people equal opportunities and preventing unfair treatment on the basis of irrelevant personal characteristics. The Human Rights Act covers discrimination on the grounds of sex, marital status, religious belief, ethical belief, colour, race, ethnic or national origins, disability, age, political opinion, employment status, family status, and sexual orientation. It is unlawful to discriminate on these grounds in the following areas of public life: employment, education, access to public places, provision of goods and services, and housing and accommodation. People who think they have been discriminated against may complain to the Human Rights Commission.

GENERAL LEGAL SYSTEM INFORMATION

Civil and Criminal Law

There are two main divisions of law - civil law and criminal law.

Civil law covers disputes between individuals, companies and sometimes local or central government, and usually doesn't involve of the police. The disputes usually involve money, with a wide range of cases coming before the courts -disputes over business contracts, wills, tax, land or other property; cases where negligence has caused another's loss; and family matters such as custody of children and division of matrimonial property. Many civil cases are settled without a court hearing being needed -all parties agree on a solution, usually after negotiations by the parties' lawyers. In a civil case, the plaintiff (the person who brings the action or "sues") must prove their case to the balance of probabilities -it must be more likely than not that the plaintiff's version of events is correct.

The surreal legal system, as I am going through it..................

1. The Act DID NOT protects the following categories of rights and freedoms: life and security of the person ME and MY CHILDREN; democratic and civil rights; non-discrimination and minority rights; search, arrest and detention; criminal procedure; and right to justice.

2.The Human Rights Act 1993 is aimed at giving all people equal opportunities and preventing unfair treatment - IT MISSED THE AIM OF GIVING ME EQUAL OPPORTUNITIES AND HAS ALLOWED UNFAIR TREATMENT- FORCING ME TO SIGN AN AGREEMENT UNDER DURESS

3. There is no opportunity for me to prove my case, as my version of events are not allowed to be presented in court.

Who disallow this....the lawyers and .......

mixed day today, liken to a mixed salad bowl...

Colorful, characters!
Daily I get these flavors, sweet, sour, bitter, nonchalant.....all essential flavors quite complementary, as they bring out the best of each other.

There is one character I find that will destroy all the flavor, manipulative character. Very distasteful. They are the one, why there is so much war and disharmony and hurt created.

That is my lot for today.

supremacy complex............

Supremacy complex.........does this term already exists? This is how it felt like when dealing with people who have been given the authority to run a division of community services.
Range from law enforcer to waste management of a region.

Lately, I had had the opportunity to deal with people in these capacity. The process of decision  making and how they arrive to it baffle common sense for the reason they are employed in that position. To serve and protect for the good of community.
Or is this not the reason?

It would however make more sense when I try to match the definition of the resultant decision they make, it does more to serve their end need, as in most instances and case.

Do we know it? .............yes.

Do we accept it?.............we have to, therefore .........yes

Is this right?...........no.....however what can we do about it........could we? .............no

What then?......................?

a pause in time............

What do I have on my plate...................
1.To end the tyranny of more than 20+ years of bullying from an abuser who is still hiding behind a closet
2.To continue with the re building of myself, so I could provide the daily basic for  3 kids
-psyche
-emotionally
-spiritual & moral
-material
3.To learn to care for myself
4.To assist where I could to others with whom I do have contact with who require my assistance
5.To enjoy good moments of good encounter with human with good virtue
6.To deal with bad moments of bad encounter with human with bad and questionable characters
7.To contribute positively in the un develop and old practices of waste management in NZ

The art of making sure my plate has a good balance, pleasant in sight, taste and combines beautifully and is nutritious............a plate of real life yee-sang, one of my specialty dish.

My right to have a fair settlement and not to settlement made under duress

An open letter to my previous counsel......................

I have filed an application as you are aware already in court, the marital separation agreement while under your counsel were signed under great duress. You as my then counsel has witness before you the act that puts pressure on or coerces me to undertake actions that I would not ordinarily choose to undertake. These acts you have witness include the use of threats my children safety, mental coercion, physical harm the barrication of our house of residence. I did not sign these agreements on a mutual basis. You as my counsel then had refuse me to disclose my rights to disclose my duress in signing the agreement. I have discharge you upon signing these documents, and I then proceeded to get myself inform how I could apply to the family court to address the duress I was in when this settlement agreement were signed.

1. Partial Discloser

   • A family law agreement is considered to be signed under duress if one of the parties does not disclose information. In my case, this is definately the case, and you are a witness to this, as your request for information were never forth coming.This has resulted in me signing into an agreement I might not otherwise have signed. I have since learned by myself such an agreement that was made without full disclosure may not be enforced by the court or can be revoked by the court afterwards. 

   Threat and Violence

   • I have also learned since the use of violence or threats onto me to force me to sign an agreement is considered duress in family law. 

     The If violence and threats of continous breach of protection orders, constitutes duress too. In my case, to stop compromising my children safety, I can claim that the settlement was signed under duress of continous breaches of protection order.

   Against Free Will

   • I have also learned since when a family law agreement signed without one party's free will is considered to be signed under duress. I can demonstrate the financial intimidation actions of the other party prevented me from exercising free will. 

     In this case, the court will assess the mental state of the person alleging duress as well as conditions under which the agreement was signed. If she was not in the proper mental state, then duress can be established. I was coerced to sign an agreement while under extreme financial duress, all my source of income has been blocked against my will, the residence of home were barricaded from entrance, we were forced to endanger our welbeing by being forced to treat through icy grounds as the only mean of access to our residence.

   No Chance for Negotiation

   • I have since learned the agreement I was coerced to sign, repeatedly on every point there is no reasonable chance of negotiating or compromising with the other party, and you were my counsel at that time, did not recognize this as constituting duress. 

     I had no available alternative during your counsel, and I have sign the agreement, I have also inform you, I will claim duress later and you as my counsel made me signed a waiver to vindicate you from any fault of not recognizing this was all under duress to protect yourself. 

     I am not giving you authority to accept the settlement. The counsel for the other party has to deal with me, directly.

     This is my right. I do have rights, I need to practice my rights.

     
     

     
     

     
     

Echo from the valley..........Hello any justice out there at all?

It is revealed and confirmed....the law enforcers' gathering along site scum bag, like vultures circling ready to scavenge on carcass, in this instance I am the carcass................................

What do I do? All my rights strip off me by force.
The intimidation and the duress continues. I have disengage the law enforcers from my side, because they have not acted in my benefit. The system supports these law enforcers.
What can I do, protest, which I did then, all the way through, continue to now, how?

I feel so sad today also, another form of scum bag which I had to deal with at work, made me do things which is against my grain of acceptability. To make a stand of my basic right by being forceful.

Where is really the justice. Does it exist at all? Hello..................justice, fairness, decency where are you?

The resounding echo..........is so hollow and lonely in the valley I am in.
So sad for the world.................................

Heighten sense........what am I to do with it....

This heighten sense. Feels like another event is nearing again, which I have to deal with.
Today, I have to deal with another "scumbag" real estate agent by profession. That is the heighten sense I am experiencing, not a very nice sense to experience.
Cannot shake it off, wishful fact that I can shake it off. Know the only way to shake the heighten sense is to deal with it.
What good is it, being able to sense harm coming our way, when I cannot prevent it from coming our way. My survival mode is only to protect my three musketeer and to provide for them. They gave me strength to face the on slaughter from "scum bag" that prey and make victim of hardworking peaceful people.
The outcome will be I will survive, with another scar to remind me, why the hermit existence is so attractive for my sense's.
I have lived through a lifetime and over from my experience of a "scum bag" with a nature spilling over with deceits, compulsive liar, manipulative and predatory nature, day in day out.

I am doing mind bath with "crysanthenum flower" to cleanse such dreadful thoughts that just was filled with horrid memories, also will bath it over my heighten senses.....so the pure can be restored.

No one should go through what I had gone through and am going through...............................

Dalai Lama and I

Dalai Lama said February's quake was a "tragedy beyond control" and it was his duty "as a friend of the city" to visit Christchurch."When such tragedy beyond our control happens, then faith does happen."Christchurch residents now needed to "build a new life and a new future"."In spite of tragedy, keep your self-confidence and work hard to build a new home, a new society and a new city,'' he said."Let tragedy transform into inner strength, determination and self-confidence."

I say, since I took control to get out of the tragedy of living with an abuser who is a bully, a deviant to me and my 3 kids, it is my duty as the only parent to my 3 kids, not to allow victimization to happen to the four of us.

Having lived through more than 20+ years myself being abused and bullied, whilst my 3 kids, it had been all their life, it is the only thing they know, it need to stop. It is hard to have any faith in law enforcers. Our experience so far with our tragedy of trying to stay safe, has been plague with so outreaching intimidation and bullying that affects us still daily, as we struggle to re build our new life minus the abuse.

We have develop self-cofidence in ourselves. We have also discover what inner strength we possess.

This still does not alleviate us being constantly subjected to being intimidated by the abuser, facilitated by law enforcer.

Today, I had to deal with my complaint made to the NEU, when I found out, all my shares in the companies has been fraudulently "stolen" with falsified paper works facilitated by CPA and law enforcer by my abuser and bully of an ex husband. 

This is how it is, the destruction I could not control.................I could only but deal with it, until the next infliction..........sometime it seems like I am still a victim struggling to get free...............

Ailey's status of continued financial intimidation......

Financial intimidation, my monthly salary is stop, rental income is stop. My credit card frozen.

Is this allowed?

Is it fair?

Is this to be tolerated?

No. To all the above. 

Yet, this is what I w as to go through, facilitated by law enforcer.  

Over 20+ years through 24/7, working and budgeting, the sacrifices, I made, has yielded good result with a successful business, and the buildup of equity of land and house, plus starting children education funds. All is gone or un accessible. Gone as it was done fraudulently, unbelievably when it is facilitated by professional CPA and law enforcer. 

Is it possible?

Am I bewildered by all this? 

Yes, to the above, sadly. 

This is what happen to me.................

What could I do, to help myself to set things right?

Could I?

I could not answer these questions........I am struggling still trying to help myself to set things right............and I do not know if I could, as I am still finding our if I could...............................

Ailey's start to take stock of what has happen.......

Have you seen the movie, "Pursuit of Happiness". The story line seems to be based from a real life of someone, who is truly down and out due to circumstances. There were many scenes in the movie which I could empathize with.

Here are some of it...
1.Family structure destroyed, of course compared to how my family were destroyed it is like night and day. My family were destroyed by a "sick man", who led a sick lifestyle in the background. Children and I, on daily basis were subjected to "this sick man" abuse.

2.Homeless, never know if we would have roof over our head day to day. We were made to choose safety away from our residence, we were liken to refugee / homeless four, on the run.

Seeing the movie brought me back, and I am amaze how I did made it this far. It also brought to the surface how revolting the behavior of the "sick man".

I am fighting not to take stock of what has happen to children and I. As I am not ready yet, there is still so much I need to do, to ensure financial stability before I could start my stock taking processes.

It is very exhausting to go through the past. For now, I do not need to. Do I ever need to?

Ailey's refusal to be re victimized

I am blogging my story, as it need to be told. There are a few issues with social implication.

Background.
When I made the decision to remove myself and my 3 kids from the grasp of my abuser, my ex husband. Protection order I had to pay for cost $10K to law enforcer. Then the Protection Order was compromise by law enforcers. 

Throughout all this, our abuser continue to reign abuse and taunt us, showing how strong he is, as he uses the system to manipulate. The law enforcer did nothing to protect us. The abuser kept filing false affidavit, with the cooperation of paid law enforcer.

The social issue?
In my case, the justice system in NZ, because there exist a very strong circle of the "old boys school" law enforcer gets away with not enforcing the law against criminals. Implication is, it is impossible to get away from being a victim. Law enforcer in my case are forcing myself and my kids to be re victimized.

In my current situation, as a result, I am representing myself in the family court. I am standing up, and saying "NO". I refuse to remain as a victim and I refuse be forced to be re victimized.

That is the reason why kids and I ended up having to re invent our life in Queenstown by ourselves.

My perspective, society awareness need to be brought up to speed, and law enforcer need to take responsibility. The misuse of power need to be address.

Sunday in Queenstown

Rain is always refreshing. On top of Queenstown Hills, the outlook from my bedroom balcony is simply awesome. Today is the first day of my coming out blog.

I hope to share, inspire and if it could help anyone, I am glad.

What do I have to do today. Brazilian BBQ is on the menu. Nope, suppose to be breakfast in bed, a treat from my youngest son. Ho...hum... however the TV pull got better of him, and he relented to the temptation of the square box. He makes the meanest egg and toast breakfast in bed. He introduced that to me, on my birthday this year and Mother's day too. Awesome card too.

Why did I start this blog. Just felt instinctively the thing to do this morning.............as I skype with Jessie this morning, and we touch on topic of Dalai Llama upcoming compassionate visit to Chch hospital as Jessie puts it.

In my typical philosophical diarrhea of the moment, comes this perspective.......what is he giving to these people he intent to visit?

I ask Jessie the question, is Dalai Llama going to provide solution to these people current be troubled life situation? Jessie reply, compassion visit. People are grieving............it be good for their soul.

Speaking from my own experience, though I did not get a visit from Dalai Llama when I was going through an extremely bad patch of my life, where the safety of my 3 children and myself were compromised, I lost everything I owned, no family around, have friends who tried to help but were hampered by the law enforcer, forced to be financially intimidated.....instead I received words and encouragement from social agency and the abuse woman network organization and from friends their generous temporary shelter of safety. This however did not provide me relief or solution to my circumstance. I am thankful but it did not change my situation. In reality, it made me emotionally worst off, as the feeling of helplessness increased.

I needed to regain my identity, access to my finance, my livelihood from a deceitful and manipulative person who until today continue to create havoc and harm to the four of us through the law enforcer.

However, I did made it through that bad patch, by sheer determination and belief the solution is there, good intention is not enough, action is what is required, and the only person who can act for "us" is ourselves.

Liken to Christchurch Earthquake, where families lost their identity, home, livelihood, though it is by mother nature, compared to my situation where it is family violence, physical and sexual, the scenario is similar, destitution. The solution is within each individual, as it was in me.

The compassionate encounter does not provide relieve, it only provide diversion from reality. Something need to be done to move forward. These compassionate visits does not provide that step for people in the unfortunate situation to move forward. It is each person themselves, YOU have to move forward.

Hence, I say, those that come with solution do not get anywhere to be allowed to help, those who does not provide solution receive enormous support for just being there.

The way this perspective of mine is establish, we know what we need to do to get things resolve for us, however our ability has been disabled by society system, then those that could not provide solution, they receive lots of support for just being there as the society system supports and encourages it.

Think about this, and reflect, as in everyone of us, I mean everyone, the solution is in ourselves.

My youngest son, just pop in with a plate and his "world awesome sunny side eggs" my breakfast in bed treat. I am so happy he is able to be around to do this.....in good retrospect.