Dealing with SA antics, belligerent workers, law enforcers

It is demoralising. It's mentally and emotionally tiring. If it wasn't for my 3 kids safety, I am a mother, I am responsible for my children welfare, I would have just ended my existence.

I've decided I had to stop cleaning up after SA
i) callous towards towards family, friends and business associates
ii)abuse to the 4 of us, especially towards he female child
iii)extra marital deceits 

All efforts to have amicable separation, even with consideration of SA sharing accommodation facility on the same property with hope it will not disrupt the children and our livelihood, did not work, as SA kept sabotaging all my efforts. The increase daily physical violence and abuse and sexualization on children were too much.

It's not easy conditions for us to live in, I had no family network to support me and my children.

I was left with no choice, but to walk away, when SA explains from his perspective
i)when he and 4 other friends took a young girl into a room, and each one of them took turns to have sex with her, one after another, he does not see this anything wrong with this, as the girl did not protest
ii)when he continued this practices towards elderly woman (70+ years old) with other men, taking turn one after the other to have sex in a room
iii)when he tells everyone for the pass 20+ years he has been separated and he travels for work, when he does not, rather he travels to meet up with these women to dine and wine them and then have them fulfill his sex fantasy, as means of his cost of maintaining them to be available to him without him having to pay for sex
vi)the unsafe sex practices with strangers and using company resources to fund his year round rendezvous in 5 stars hotels.
v)his view on drugs usage it is alright and fine to use weeds, later I was informed in Europe SA was a drug dealer, had a run in with the authority, and was involve in drug trafficking, his parents had to bail him out and manage to ensure there is no police record of it, happen in Belgium.

The above are just the tip of the "iceberg".

I got one little kid and two children to look after, and I have to keep the violence of SA at bay while working to clean up the compromised business situation of SA sexual liaison with business customer and suppliers employee, on top of the the daily violence when SA are not on rendezvous with his "multitude collection" of women young and old he entrap into his web portrayal of his made up life "lore"  of how successful a business man he is, and have been separated for many years, living with children, which he have to maintained 24/7 over the internet and phone so the interest of these women are maintained.

That is why SA never produces any output even though he sits on his computer in the corner of the office which he created for himself, where no one are allowed to come near, as he would yell and get very abusive to anyone who comes anywhere near his office corner and table, claiming he is being disturbed as he is in deep thoughts of work.

I have been stressed out and upset, when my kids safety were compromised. I made the move to be out of SA violent control.

Question as to whether we would continue to stay at our family residence, the odds were against it, as SA antics were crippling our ability to move freely in and out of our residence. The constant locking us out or in, were too much for children to handle. The belligerent workers attitude towards myself and children, coax and encourage by SA daily were distressing children and I too much. I have called police and lawyers many times, trying to find out my rights and how I can protect myself and children from these "intimidating and bully" act. I did not receive any help, rather I was being questioned and was told to move out, even though I explain, the financial intimidation I was in, as the ability to afford has been taken away from me.

Our life are confine like a prisoner in the attic. Our freedom came during the weekend, and even then it was short lived as SA breach the protection order and taunted us by appearing whenever he likes, and got away with it. This has further curtailed the little freedom we had.

I had believed by having a legal adviser, we will receive assistance to resolve this intimidating situation, and being in the system will hopefully see us have a safe path away from SA intimidation. However, the system did not work because law enforcer would not provide us with security. I am forced to remain a victim and I am being questioned for being a victim by authority.

I did not want to move as I was worried about uprooting the children, aged 8, 14 and 15, from their schools and their friends. However I had to make the right decision for them, but there's so much to weigh up. I really don't know where we'll end up to be safe from SA, and his belligerent workers.

I have troubled friends and acquaintances seeking when I could comforting and reassuring hug and a chat, as it is tough having to deal with all this alone while trying to care for 3 children on my own and financially intimidated.

This has been a demoralizing times, and very tiring mentally and emotionally for me. If it wasn't for my inner determination by being focus on the safety of my children, I would not be able to escape the abusive environment I was in.

Initially I was untroubled as I had faith in law enforcer to protect those that need protection but that disappeared over time again and again when they did not come through to enforce and protect us. They came and told me this is domestic and they will not and cannot do anything, until someone gets very hurt physically or there is a death. When the law enforcer finally did charge SA, they did not prepare the case nor seek my input to prepare the case before the criminal court. As result it was dismissed by the judge. This has provided SA confirmation he can get away with it, as long as he has a barrister to work the system and get him out of being prosecuted by law.

Up until then, my faith were intact the justice system should work the right way, being a good decision when it is so obvious, but I was proven wrong. The justice system are plague with parties of law enforcers and advisers who cannot up hold the justice system from functioning as it should to deliver justice. However, what I did experience is a song and dance play, and changing tunes and singing, not about what is right, it is about how well the representative's of law can manipulate the points and truth has no place in the justice system.

I want to be safe and I want all 3 children to feel safe too, however it is hard when we had to live through all this and we still have to get into a routine daily life and normalise. I cannot voice and tell our daily struggle how we tried to get on with our life peacefully. When I tried, I got slam down by SA barrister who is using his reputation of being good to forward the interest of his client (not necessarily because his client are on the right side of the law) and achieve good judgement for his client (not because they are the victim requiring justice to be served, for what is is worth, they could be the guilty people who is a criminal by act and intention), in my case the later is true.

I still want to believe in the judicial system, it can work for the reason it is intended to. In my case, I have started to represent myself to address

1)marital settlement agreement where it was made under duress

i)how I was coerced to sign under duress

ii)how I was bullied to sign away my rights to protect 3 children

iii)not able to negotiate any terms in the agreement

Now, SA with the help of his company accountant has committed a criminal fraud and they now have been given a deadline to rectify their fraudulent act to avoid being prosecuted.As result, SA barrister has come back to my discharged solicitor with great urgency and demanded I accept the marital settlement agreement made under duress. 

SA barrister have issued demand and threats to me and my discharged solicitor. Threats to me personally SA barrister will go to High Court and invoke a summary judgement and threats to my discharge solicitor to report to law society for my discharged solicitor professional claimed misconduct towards SA barrister. Threats to me and discharge solicitor that all cost and damage cost incurred by SA barrister we will need to pay for it. And any penalty SA are subjected to, they will claim as damage caused by me. What have I done, except to bring some justice into my circumstance, that is why I have submitted an application to the Family court to review the Marital Separation agreement that was made under duress

When the justice system allows SA barrister to continue to practice belligerently the laws in this country in such a manner as in my case, then there is a grave accountability of the judicial system need to be done, for which the purpose of the justice system is to serve to protect the rights of law abiding people, vs protecting the non law abiding people.

I was not aware of the motive and was confuse with the sudden urgency and then followed by the illogical threats of the whole matter by SA barrister, as SA barrister are informed I have filled an application to the Family Court the Marital Property agreement were made under duress is to be heard.

On reading the last correspondence on Friday which was sent finally direct to me by SA barrister, and the last threatening paragraphs confirming the cost of damage to SA is real and substantial, I could then confidently confirm this sudden urgency to force settlement on me. This is the latest bully and intimidation act towards me again and this disturb me on the following

-can the SA barrister use the judicial system to cover the fraudulent crime of his client? 

-will this be allowed by the judicial system?

-can SA barrister claim cost, when the motive and the cause and the action is based on trying to get his client who has committed a criminal crime against me? 

-why do I, who is a victim of SA violence, then a victim of SA belligerent successful intimidation practices, manage to portray me as the criminal for a crime committed by SA and his associates?

I want only ensure  my basic Human Rights as citizen of NZ, who is responsible to care and protect for my 3 children can do so.

I cannot believe this is happening again, the coercion, the threats, the bullying.

I am not sure I can withstand to go through this again. Currently I have to re invent my livelihood, so I could continue to support my 3 children, to meet their daily material needs, their psychological and emotional rationalization of what they have gone through, as we continue to re construct and get a healthy family routine into our current lives. As it is, I do not have family network to help us.

I had to deal with the judicial processes of engaging court appointed professionals to write reports (suppose to be on us, but in truth it was not of us, rather reports were based on what they perceived as published case study and translate that into their opinion to take ownership they have done appropriate assessment, after spending less than 60 minutes with children, and going by multitude of e mails ex change from only SA), then with the court appointed supervisor for the supervised contact of the youngest child with SA. I had to deal with my child accusation I had betrayed his trust in me, because I had not listen to him, by me agreeing to trial supervised contact with SA, with my youngest son being traumatized from the whole experience, because the supervisor did not maintain the welfare of my youngest son while supervising the contact.

How many more of this do I have to go through, before the court recognizes the Marital Property settlement agreement made under duress is not right? 

I need to provide for myself and my children what I was able to provide before. A house with land, a secure income from the family business which I have built over 20+ years. Now, I do not have a house with land, no secure income as I had to re invent myself in new business, and they is no security it in yet as I have just started. I need a more realistic children maintenance contribution, between $68-$70 per month contribution from SA, is not sustainable maintenance for 3 children. 

I can meet the shortfall of SA responsibility when I could instead of re inventing myself, I can engage in the same industry I have been involved in with a couple of exclusive agency for the outdoors industry business which I have manage and developed.

I have tried to put forward this proposition during the Marital Property Settlement agreement process, this has been curtailed and SA would not provide any information, and has blocked me access to all informations.